December 25, 2012

Dear Sis~

What a treat it was to visit with you on Christmas Day!  My rare visits are my only real highlights of this otherwise spare existence, the only time - however briefly - I can put prison behind me, interact with free world people on an equal footing, almost as if I am free, sitting in a cafe discussing current events.  Now I'm back in my cell where the Christ Spirit seems very far removed, hugging tight today's memories of our visit...

Last night on PBS I watched a great Christmas Special by Rod Stewart, Merry Christmas Baby, where he sang many of the classic Christmas songs, along with a few musical guests (like Ceelo Green), using a big band (lots of strings and horns) of fine musicians.  I wouldn't normally associate Rod Stewart with Christmas songs, but he's the epitome of a real pro.  The production values were top notch and Rod pulled it off with class and panache.  By the way, on the subject of music, there's a new movie musical version of Les Misérables with Hugh Jackman and Russel Crowe which is getting good reviews.  I read the book and saw an old version of the movie when I was a kid and I never forgot it; that's gotta be one of the best tales ever written, and besides being great entertainment it teaches some serious life lessons about the meaning of true justice, and the importance of compassion, understanding and forgiveness (not to mention common sense) when attempting to weigh a person's worth in the balance...

Well, you know that the execution took place as scheduled on December 11th,  and I suspect Gov. Scott will sign another death warrant as soon as the new year gets ringed in (last year he signed his first warrant of 2012 on January 2nd). What a great way to start off your new year, huh?  Deciding who to put to death.  It's not something I could (or would) do, I know that...

On the subject of clemency, which we touched on during our visit, the last time a Florida governor granted clemency to anyone on death row was in 1983 or 1984.  Nowadays very few governors have the political courage to grant clemency, to spare a life, despite the fact that there's no shortage of prisoners on the row who merit clemency.  Ironically, history shows that in the 1930's, 1940's and 1950's, governors - even in the deep south - freely exercised their powers of executive grace and granted clemency on a regular basis, without fear of being labeled "soft on crime".  But nowadays most governors are scared to death to show mercy, afraid to be labeled soft on crime.  Easier to just kill people off than to be merciful and risk any political kickback...

Ok, Sis, that's enough for now.  It's time for me to hit the hay and get a good night's sleep.  Be good and stay out of mischief!

Love, 
  Bill

Dec 10, 2012

Dear Sis~

We have another execution scheduled for tomorrow, which makes for a somber atmosphere here, at least for me.  A surprisingly large percentage of these guys appear totally unaffected by the fact that one of their own is being put to death just 100 feet away.  By habit, I meditate for the hour straddling the execution, which here in Florida is routinely scheduled for 6pm, and I've always gotta screen out the laughter of guys watching some sitcom, or other inane conversation going on.  Some of these guys are actually unaware that an execution is occurring which shows you how clued in they are.  Talk about lack of situational awareness!  That aside, I'm wondering what a governor is thinking when he deliberately chooses to execute someone just before Christmas?  He could have picked any date, but he chose this time.  On the other hand, my trial judge picked Dec 22nd to sentence me to death.  That was my Christmas gift...  

At any rate, I'm not dwelling on the death and deprivation inhabiting this dump; at Christmas tie I'd like to focus on the good and positive things in my life - like the people who love and care about me - to remember what I have going for me instead of what is against me.  When I look around me, and around the world in general, I consider myself blessed.  Keeping things in perspective  helps maintain the sanity and keeps bitterness and self-pity from infecting the heart...

Give yourself a big Christmas hug for me, Sis, and know that you are loved!

Light & Love,
Bill

November 8, 2012

Dear Sis ~

Well, apparently Governor Scott became frustrated with his inability to kill John Ferguson because last week he signed another death warrant, this time for Manny Pardo, an ex-policeman from Miami who, back in the 80's, killed at least 9 people over a period of time, later donning the Vigilante mantle, claiming they were all drug dealers and he was doing the citizenry a favor by ridding society of its dregs. Less valiant was the fact that he kept all the money, drugs and jewelry he robbed from them. Manny is scheduled to die on December 11th, just in time for Christmas...

Speaking of Ferguson, I don't recall if I told you what happened? He got a series of temporary stays from ever-higher courts until finally the US Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit, in Atlanta, ordered a stay (which, I believe, was approved by the US Supreme Court) in order to resolve the issue of his sanity to be executed.  Ferguson has been on the row for over 34 years and guys who know him ('cuz I don't) tell me he's been crazy for decades, which is why previous governors did not sign his death warrant earlier.  I guess Scott wanted to test that theory, or else he's getting poor legal advice...

Another death row guy has died of cancer.  I ran into Michael Bruno (whom I've known for over 20 years) in late July when I took a day trip to RMC (Regional Medical Center) for my upper GI tests.  Bruno looked weak and had a persistent cough (the same cough Tom now has) and he'd just been diagnosed with lung cancer, with several spots on his lung X-Rays.  Soon after he began radiation and chemo treatments; Tom saw him almost every day once Tom began his chemo and radiation regimen and Tom reported Bruno's condition to me each day.  He seemed to be doing pretty well, but on Friday, October 19th, he suddenly got ill and two days later he was dead.  The cause of death, we were told, was septic shock, and I'm guessing the infection found its way into his system via the "port" they'd inserted into his chest to funnel the chemo directly into his lung.  Prisons are filthy so putting a port into a guy's chest while making him live in a cell is pretty much a prescription for disaster.  This is especially true here in Florida where the DOC long ago quit issuing and buying (we used to manufacture them) the various cleaning chemicals we used to use to clean our cells and the whole prison, from powdered soap, liquid soap, disinfectants, bleach; all that is gone now and we must buy and use shampoo from the canteen to wash our clothes and clean our cells.  This whole decrepit building is filthy and falling apart...

I watched Runaway Train on TV again, a good movie based on an Eddie Bunker novel (Bunker served time in San Quentin) starring John Voight, Eric Roberts and a young, fresh-faced Rebecca De Mornay.  The movie begins with a very accurate depiction of an old-school penitentiary; FSP was just like that (as was the Rock) back in the day.  I can relate to the movie and the character played by Voight...

Nothing else to report from the Big House!  Give yourself a hug for me.

Love,
  Bill

October 25, 2012

Dear Sis~

Well, the execution has been cancelled, to the dismay of some around here.  Ferguson was scheduled to die on the 16th, but just before then he got a 48-hour stay.  Over the next week he got three such temporary stays from three different courts, with the sole issue being his sanity to be executed.  Finally, it was supposed to happen for sure 2 days ago, on the 23rd, and we woke up to the standard execution-day procedures, eating all three meals very early, the entire prison being on lockdown, and all guards wearing their dress uniforms.  As execution time (6:00 pm) neared the old white hearse pulled up outside the back sally port gate waiting to come in and pick up the body.  As 6:00 came and went I assumed the execution had occurred but around 7:30 a guy on the other side of my wing, which looks out on the back gate and the rear of Q-wing (the death house), called me through the vent and said the hearse never came in, but instead had finally driven off.  On the 11:00 news it was reported that the US Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit, in Atlanta, had given Ferguson a stay of execution and that the US Supreme Court then approved the stay.  (The accuracy of that precise chronology is debatable because reporters are notorious for mangling stories involving court decisions).  At any rate, he got some kind of stay; how long that stay is remains unknown to me.  I heard on one  news report that the Eleventh Circuit granted the stay in order to decide "whether it is unconstitutional to execute the insane," which is an issue firmly settled by the US Supreme Court long ago in Ford v Wainwright.  If that's an accurate statement (a big "IF") it indicates the Eleventh Circuit may be trying to find a way to undermine or circumvent Ford, a way to go ahead and execute insane prisoners.  Any such ruling would toss the issue back to the Supreme Court, giving them an opportunity to recede from Ford if they so choose.  Also on the 11:00 news was the results of their earlier poll question: "Should insane prisoners be executed?"  Not surprisingly, 59% of the good citizens of Jacksonville answered in the affirmative. ("Yeah, that's right, let's kill all those crazy bastards!")  Now we go back on lottery watch, waiting to see whose death warrant the governor signs next, which is a great mood elevator for the upcoming holidays...

Last night's mail brought me (and others) a notice that the mailroom had impounded and confiscated the latest issue of Newsweek because, the notice stated, it contained an article about "pot use in America."  Censorship like this, which implies serious First Amendment principles, used to be, and is supposed to be, rare.  Only when an article clearly and unequivocally creates a substantial threat to the security of a prison should it be censored.  But, over the years, the Florida DOC has gotten progressively petty (and ignorant) on this issue (since the law now practically forbids prisoners from filing law suits anymore) until we've reached our present state where these impoundments have become almost daily and for the most absurd reasons imaginable.  If I told you the reasons given for some of these censorships you would first laugh and then call me a liar.  The main problem in the Florida DOC is their ill-thought-out policy where if I any peon in any mailroom in any prison in Florida (and we have well over 100 prisons and institutions) decides that something they see in an incoming magazine or newspaper is objectionable to them, a notice immediately goes out to all the prisons and they must all, immediately, seize and confiscate all those incoming magazines or newspapers.  So, we are at the mercy of the dumbest, most ignorant or biased mailroom employee in the state; their opinion spreads through the DOC like rings in a pond when a pebble is thrown in.  As a result, you get things like their impoundment of this month's Esquire because it "shows sexual activity." (Any Esquire subscriber knows it does not contain "sexual activity") or the impoundment of my Field and Stream for a little story on how a person lost in the wilderness can "start a fire from tree bark." (the prison declared this a security threat for teaching us how to commit arson).  When the prisons go to seizing mainstream magazines like Newsweek for having articles about "pot use in America" you know the mental patients are in charge of the asylum. (Whoa! News Alert! People in America smoke pot! What a security threat!) No court in America would sanction this blatantly unconstitutional censorship but nowadays, with nothing to keep them in check (lawsuit-wise) the prisons do just whatever the hell they want to, knowing they are immune from challenge...

Well, Sis, that's all the news from here for now.  Hopefully, I'll enjoy a quiet holiday season, which is about the most, and best, I can hope for.
Love, Bill

October 2, 2012

Dear Sis~

Last week Gov. Scott issued a temporary stay of execution for John Ferguson, the Miami native who was scheduled to die on Oct. 16th.  The purpose is so that doctors can examine him and assess his sanity.  As I'd speculated in a previous letter this guy has a long history of mental illness which is one reason why he's been on death row for 34 years.  My understanding is that previous governors, being aware of his mental issues, bypassed him when deciding whose death warrant to sign.  At any rate being insane as a factual or medical matter, as opposed to a legal matter, does not guarantee he'll be spared.  You can be 100% Looney Tunes from a medical perspective and still be declared legally sane because they involve different standards.  More importantly it will be Simon simple for the state to find a doctor or two who will declare him sane no matter how profound his psychosis.  The state keeps on call a large battery of quack psychiatrists (their "expert witnesses") who will testify very predictably (and profitably) in the state's favor.  Here's the really peculiar thing, in my opinion.  The whole reason behind not executing a crazy person is the idea that it is "inhumane" to kill someone who is not aware of why he is being put to death.  Think about that.  Yeah, it's O.K. to cold-bloodedly and premeditatedly kill people, but only if they know why they're being killed.  In other words, the "bad" part is not the actual killing, it's the possibility that the about-to-be-killed guy may not grasp why he's being killed.  ("We want this guy to know why we're killing him!!!)  Is it just me or does this seem like an odd arrangement of priorities?  This is the kind of twisted reasoning you end up with here, where logic dives down the rabbit hole, when you try to parse the justifications for executing your fellow citizens... 

Here's an update on my friend Tom. When I last wrote he'd been taken away in an ambulance on the night of Sept. 11th after spending 14 or 15 post-seizure days futilely trying to convince the medical staff here that he was dying. Well, within hours of arriving at Shands Hospital in Gainesville surgeons performed emergency brain surgery and removed a golf ball-sized tumor which proved to be cancerous. An MRI also revealed a "large mass" in his chest which was also determined to be cancerous. Just 18 hours after his brain surgery prison officials (over the surgeon's objections) removed Tom from the hospital and returned him here to his cell. I stuck my mirror out, upon hearing the door roll, and saw Tom, a big bandage on his head, tottering slowly and unsteadily down the tier to his cell. That was on the 13th.  For the next 5 days he laid on his bunk, often moaning, while receiving no medication at all (despite the surgeons having prescribed many drugs). Finally, after 5 days he began getting some, but not all, of the prescribed meds (no pain meds, of course).  Importantly, he did not get the most crucial one, the one to stop his brain from swelling.  So he was suffering mightily until just 5 or 6 days ago when he finally saw a free-world oncologist who was shocked that he was not getting the brain swelling medication.  After another 3 days he finally began getting that one and he told me the relief was immediate.  I knew it was bad when he kept telling me he had fluid coming out of his ears.  He's been told he'll get chemo and radiation treatment but that remains to be seen.  If the prison has their way he'll get nothing.  (It kills me to read or hear about citizens crying about all the "great, free medical care" prisoners get.  They are so clueless about what really goes on in prisons and about the criminally negligent medical personnel who commonly work in jails and prisons, many of whom have been barred from treating free-world patients, but who get to work in prisons under special laws that permit such).  The only reason Tom is alive is because he managed to get to a real hospital, out of the grasp of FSP's quacks...

Ok, Sis, that's the news from here - some of it anyway - so I'll post this now and hit the hay.  Give yourself a big hug from me!

Love, 

  Bill

Sept 13, 2012

Dear Sis~

Here's a snapshot of the type of medical care we get here. In the early morning hours of August 30, my friend Tom, who lived 2 cells down from me groggily awoke to find his face and pillow covered in blood and his tongue bitten about half off. He had no memory of what occurred.  That morning his speech was slurred (over and above his extreme difficulty in speaking with a then-swollen, bloody tongue) and I noticed his thinking was confused.  I told him he'd most likely had a seizure in his sleep (he has no history of seizures) and that because he was on high cholesterol medication he may have had a small stroke.  Over the following days Tom suffered progressively severe headaches almost constantly and began sleeping excessively.  His speech became increasingly slurred and his mental faculties were clearly compromised.  I, and others, constantly urged Tom to try to get up to the clinic to see a doctor (even though the two doctors here are notorious quacks) and so he began trying to stop any passing nurses (who go down our row to deliver medications to some) to explain his situation, but none of them were interested. Most just said "put in a sick call slip."  At my urging Tom declared a "medical emergency" which is supposed to get you right up to the clinic.  But instead, a nurse came to the wing, briefly examined Tom's swollen (and now infected) tongue, gave him two Tylenol and told him he was just "out of luck" since no doctor was on duty on a Saturday night.

Meanwhile, day by day, Tom got worse.  He knew something was wrong with him but seemed unable to figure out what to do.  I wrote up a sick call slip for him (by this time his handwriting was illegible and he could not put his thoughts together) and the next day a "nurse" or M.T. (medical technician) came to "examine" him.  He listened as Tom labored to explain what happened, starting with the seizure, then told Tom "Well, some people do this [bite their tongues almost in half] to get attention."  The M.T. then walked away.  By this time about 8-9 days had gone by.  On Sept 6 Tom went to the clinic for his "dental request" because he'd also broken some teeth.  Pursuant to this prison's recently enacted policy he was forced to lay on his back, reclined, in the dentist's chair for two hours with his hands handcuffed behind his back with the "black box" on (a very painful device which locks your hands rigidly in place in the handcuffs).  The dentist fixed one of his 6 broken teeth and prescribed a "rinse twice-a-day for his lacerated, infected tongue, but refused to help him see a doctor (who was just 20 feet away) to treat the real problem, the symptoms following his unexplained seizure.  When Tom returned to his cell his extreme distress was evident and when the 'cuffs were removed and he tried to move his arms in front of him he found one of his shoulders was dislocated.  His wrists were red, swollen and completely numb.  Somehow he managed to pop his shoulder back in place.

At this point I began writing grievances for him, grieving the medical department's refusal to let him see a doctor.  I submitted another sick call form for him, and when the nurse or M.T. (we don't know who is a nurse and who is an M.T.) came to see him the next day he told Tom he had to submit a third sick call form before he could see a doctor (this is the medical department's recently enacted policy, requiring all prisoners to submit three (3) separate sick call forms (costing us $5.00 each time; we must pay a $5.00 co-payment every time we submit a sick call form) before we can actually see a doctor (this effectively triples the mandatory co-payment, from $5.00 to $15.00).

By this time all of us prisoners knew Tom was seriously messed up and was deteriorating daily; the headaches were driving him nuts and his thinking was labored and scattered. His speech was almost unintelligible.  I felt that he was dying. All the wing officers knew he was messed up, and Tom desperately tried to explain his situation to any passing nurse or M.T., begging for help, to no avail.  Everyone just ignored his pleas for help.  It was painful for me to watch this unfold. Finally, two nights ago, on Tuesday September 11 at 7:40pm I heard Tom collapse in his cell.  Tom called out to me, very weakly, for help.  I immediately began yelling and banging for the wing sergeant, screaming "man down" and "medical emergency."  When the sergeant came he immediately saw how serious it was and he called the clinic to bring a wheelchair.  After 20 minutes of trying to coax a disabled Tom into stripping (for the obligatory strip search) and to climb on his bunk, face the wall, and put his hands behind his back, the officers finally entered his cell and handcuffed and shackled him.  They put Tom in a wheelchair and took him to the clinic.  By this time it was past 8:00.  Around 10:15 a freeworld ambulance came through the back gate, then departed, lights flashing, taking Tom to a hospital in Gainesville or Jacksonville (we heard differing reports).  I sat down and wrote to Tom's people, and one of his lawyers, telling them what had happened.  The next day (yesterday) I was reliably informed that Tom was at that moment undergoing brain surgery.  Clearly, he'd had a stroke or aneurysm of some sort, perhaps a series of them, and his life was hanging in the balance.  What I know for certain was that he spent 13 days in his cell begging everyone in the medical department for help, a man clearly in need of immediate medical attention, and nobody would give him the time of day.  Had he simply been able to see a doctor after his initial seizure (which was a classic warning sign) all the rest could have been avoided.  As it is I don't know if Tom is alive, or will survive, or will ever be the person he once was, physically or mentally.  He may be a vegetable for all I know. This type of treatment is typical here at F.S.P and this is why I always tell you how thankful I am for my good health, because if you get seriously sick in a Florida prison, and especially this one, you will probably just die.  Nobody here gives a damn, especially those working in the medical department.  (It takes awhile to stop being shocked at seeing doctors and nurses who are absolutely indifferent to a prisoner's serious medical problems.  I stopped being shocked decades ago after seeing too many friends left to die alone in their cells)...
Light & Love,
   Bill 

Sept 5, 2012

Dear Sis~

Gov. Scott has broken his 5-month hiatus on killing people by signing a death warrant for John Ferguson, a guy out of Miami.  With 34 years on the row and eight murder convictions Ferguson was an easy target (I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did; I'm guessing there were some exceptional circumstances in his appellate proceedings, perhaps some substantial questions about his sanity or mental retardation).  I don't know this guy personally, but I vaguely recall his case(s), which, if I'm not mistaken, involved multiple incidents of drug related home invasions where everyone inside was killed.  I believe he had other co-defendants who were executed long ago, but possibly I'm confusing him with some other cases.  Anyway, the death machine has been cranked up, and like some ancient South Pacific volcano, will now be regularly eating up its quota of human sacrifices.  It's time to mollify the God of Revenge with the spilling of blood!  After all, nothing proclaims our modernity and civilization like the methodical, premeditated killing of our own citizens...

On a more pleasant note I greatly enjoyed our 3-day visit over the Labor Day weekend.  Stepping out of this tiny cell and into the visiting park is, well, it's sort of indescribable.  For those few hours it's like being in the "real world", like another dimension or reality where all my senses are heightened and magnified and everything is well in the world. Then I return to my cell and enter a drab, colorless almost two-dimensional realm which works mightily to suck all the energy and life force from the marrow of my soul.  After 24 years in a 6' x 9' cell this world is about all I know, or at least, it is a real struggle to remind myself that this world, like Plato's shadows on the cave wall, is just a poor reflection of reality.  So, I treasure all of my visits, as few as they are, but especially those with you...

My neighbor Carl was moved a few cells down the row when his sink water (both hot and cold, or more accurately, cold and cold since we have no hot water in our sinks) quit working.  After about 6 days in a cell without water they just moved him into an empty cell rather than get the inmate plumbers to fix it.  That's typical here, where this decrepit, 52-year old building is falling apart due to a complete lack of preventative maintenance and equal lack of competence. This place is a dump.  I came here in 1974, 38 years ago, and I've never seen this prison so poorly run and poorly maintained.  Apathy abounds.  Now, with an empty cell next to mine I've got to wonder who my next neighbor will be; hopefully someone who is not crazy, who yells and bangs all day and night (we get our share of them)...

That's about it for now, Sis.  Keep your chin up and a smile on your face!
Love & Peace,
  Bill

August 5, 2012

Dear Sis ~

     Having a certain degree of free time to enjoy (no legal work on the agenda) I finished reading James Ford Rhodes' History of the Civil War 1861-1865, a concise, one-volume history which is surprisingly comprehensive given the scope of the subject mater. I've read many a history of this war over the decades (I find myself returning to this terrible conflagration time and again) and this is a good one, both being scholarly yet written at the layman's level, and noteworthy for its objectivity.  Rhodes originally authored a seven-volume history of the United States covering the period from 1850-1877 and written (or at least begun) in 1891, including five volumes covering the war.  Later on, beginning in 1913, he produced the single volume I just read, published in 1917, and for which Rhodes was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for history.  What's interesting about this book is that Rhodes was able to, and did, interview a lot of the survivors of the war for his source materials and in that sense he was "closer" to the actual events (he was a teenager himself during the war) than writers of later generations, a fact which subtly makes itself apparent in this book, both by his vernacular and perspective.   Another thing that struck me, and this was surprising, or at least unexpected, was how much the language and rhetoric of the southern politicians who were vigorously advocating for  secession, and war with the Union, matches (often word for word) the rhetoric of today's contemporary Tea Party advocates, from "state's rights" arguments right on down the line.  Whenever I read a history of our civil war I'm again powerfully reminded of what a bloody and violent people we are; it seems to be in our DNA, in our sinews and bones, this deep need to resort to bloodletting to resolve our disputes.  You cannot be a serious historian of this nation without coming to this conclusion, for there have been precious few years in the last 240 where we have not been at war with some nation of peoples, somewhere.  We claim to be a peaceful nation but the cold facts prove that to be a lie...
     Well, Governor Scott has been taking a brief respite from his prior busy schedule of signing death warrants (our last execution was April 12th) but I've heard from a reasonably reliable source (an attorney in a position to know) that he will soon resume.  I've even heard three specific names mentioned but I won't repeat them here.  I've often wondered how a governor makes this decision.  Does he wake up one day and tell himself "time to kill someone"?  How does he choose the particular prisoner from the long list of available names?  Under Florida's system the governor has sole discretion as to who to kill, how many to kill, and at what pace.  It's totally subjective on his part, and necessarily arbitrary and capricious.  Maybe he just throws a dart at the list.  Nobody knows, except the governor and those closest to him.  Only the governor knows if this decision(s) weigh on his heart and mind...
     Alright, Sis, I'll close this up and mail it off.  Give yourself a hug for me and give the doggies a rub on their snouts!
    Love & Peace,
    Bill

July 8, 2012

Dear Sis~

I've just finished reading A Byzantine Journey, by John Ash, which I've been determined to read for almost two decades when a 1995 book review caught my attention and I scribbled a note to myself to find the book, a note I squirreled away and carried around in my files ever since until I finally got tired of seeing it and, through the gracious help of a friend, I was able to make the desire manifest itself.  You don't have to be a history buff, as I am admittedly am, to appreciate this lively and well-written book, a combination travel-guide and history review of the mysterious and enigmatic Byzantine empire.  The author began (and ended) his journey in Istanbul, traveling from historic town to town across modern-day Turkey, visiting the medieval sites, ruins and architectural wonders of the ancient Eastern Holy Roman Empire, recounting the history and long-forgotten battles at each stop.  This is not a dry, historical tutelage; it's a lively and beautifully written account of a thousand-plus years of remarkable history, covering everything from art and architecture to the religions, cultures and ways of life of the countless exotic peoples who fought and died over Cappadocia and the Anatolian plateau, a vast struggle between east and west, between Muslim and Christian, and two different ideas of civilization and life itself.  This is a book that invites reflection and will make you think.  I thoroughly enjoyed it...

I may have already told you how this new, very confrontational and punitive-minded administration has recently banned chicken from our menu.  We used to get a baked chicken thigh about every two weeks, which was the last "real" meat left on our entire menu (all other "meat" has long ago been replaced with an inedible soy-based patty).  The new warden deemed that the tiny bone in our tiny chicken legs (they look like pigeon legs already) are a "security threat" since, in his view, someone may use such a bone to fashion a weapon.  This ridiculous assertion is simply a pretext for him to continue to impose his draconian will upon us and to make our lives even more miserable.  This guy has serious issues and he's been taking them out on us since he arrived here...

That's it for now, Sis, from the (very hot and stifling) Big House where global warming is not an imaginary and liberal scam to us!  I'll write again soon.
Light & Love,
  Bill

To the readers of this blog...see link below

The following link is to a blog that will interest our readers: 

Minutes Before Six  

minutesbeforesix.blogspot.com/

 

Please look into this as it is a very well laid out blog with heartfelt entries from other Death Row Inmates in Texas and across the country. 

June 10, 2012

Dear Sis~

It's been pouring rain, off and on, for the past 7-8 days and according to the local weather girl, the next 5-6 days will bring the same.  Everything here in this big concrete prison (which lacks any effective ventilation) is damp and musty; it's like living in an old castle but without any notions of romanticism or adventure, more like the castle's dungeon, in fact.  This morning I saw a few rays of sunshine and thought there'd be a day-long respite so I went ahead with my regular weekend routing of scrubbing my floor, then doing my laundry.  This was a mistake. About the time I finished and began hanging my sheets, T-shirts and drawers on my makeshift clothesline, the heavens opened up and a powerful thunderstorm moved in.  It's been homesteading this area for hours now and the humidity is so thick that water is drizzling down my walls and the decades-old, multi-layered paint is blistering out, with water trapped in balloon-like knots from water weeping right through the concrete.  This happens all over the building whenever we get any prolonged rainstorms.  As you know from your visits, the roof leaks badly all over and the prison is strewn with plastic 5-gallon buckets catching the water.  Doing my own laundry (most of us do it) has become even more of an imperative over the last year or two.  For starters, you cannot exchange your state clothes for clean stuff at the weekly laundry exchange because all the laundry issues now are old, ripped-up rags, stuff right out of a cartoon version of the rags Napoleon's army wore as they withdrew from Russia.  There is no money available here for any new clothing.  The sheets, towels, socks, T-shirts and drawers are almost black with filth; they look like what mechanics use in garages to clean up with.  The laundry has taken to cutting all the sheets in half lengthwise and cutting all the towels in half (sewing up the edges) to try to make things stretch.  More basic than that, though, is that for at least a year, maybe two, the laundry has simply quit using any soap when it "washes" the clothes.  They stuff they pass out stinks worse than it does when it's turned in.  If you do get something from the laundry, the first thing you and have to do is wash it.  Most people do what I do, they bribe someone to get ahold of a couple of new sheets and a new towel, and then they just keep them, washing them by hand every week.  Since we cannot obtain any laundry soap (for reasons unknown they stopped selling it to us 10 years ago) we've gotta use canteen-bought shampoo to do our laundry (VO-5 is the cheapest).  And of course, we've gotta wash all our stuff in our toilets; this sounds gross to the uninitiated, but we keep our stainless steel toilets scrubbed clean.  You then plug it up and flush it until it fills, then add shampoo and laundry and go to work.  This is old-school and is universal in prisons around the country (although 95% of prisons have made this obsolete by offering real laundry services.  But Florida in general and Florida State Prison in particular are 30 years behind the times and the administration seems to revel in its backwardness).  Hell, this prison doesn't even have hot water to the cells.  Anyway, Sis, that's it for now from the rainy Big House.  I'll write again soon when the sun comes out!
Love,
  Bill

May 10, 2012

Dear Sis~

After allowing it to molder in my locker for several years (while otherwise occupied with more pressing legal work) I've finally retrieved my copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, which has long been on my reading list.  This novel, written by a prolific, Nobel Prize winning Spanish author has been described as "a Masterpiece of the art of Fiction."  I'll let you know if I concur when I finish it.  Speaking of books, I recently wrote you about an excellent one I'd just finished, Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand, the true life saga of a remarkable guy, Louis Zamperini, whose World War II odyssey you won't soon forget. Well, I was pleased to learn that Louis is still alive; I was recently watching a PBS program on Jesse Owens and they interviewed Louis as part of that.  Louis ran the mile in the 1936 Berlin Olympics, where Jesse Owens was a teammate, and Louis shared his memories of those times.   Louis must be over 90 by now but he looked great and sounded lucid and articulate.  After reading Unbroken I felt like Louis was an old pal, the kind of guy whose friendship would be true and solid, down to earth, salt-of-the-land type of guy you are rarely privileged to meet.  When you read the book you'll understand why I say this.  I was really glad to see that Louis is still alive and kicking.  

The other day I watched Papillion, starring Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman, on my little TV.  I vividly recall buying this book at Leonardo da Vinci International Airport in Rome in the summer of 1971, picking the paperback off a wire-frame book rack, then reading it cover to cover over the next few days.  At the time, through the lens of a 16-year old, the story seemed adventuresome and exciting and I enjoyed the movie, too, when I saw it perhaps 10 years later.  But this time it was more depressing than epic, a story too closely paralleling my own, a life squandered in the bowels of an oppressive prison system. Instead of inspiring, the movie was just sad.  Funny what 30 years of experience can do to your perspective...

That's all for now, Sis (no new death warrants, knock on wood).

Love,
  Bill

April 12, 2012

Dear Sis~
The execution of David Alan Gore took place as scheduled at 6:00 this evening, just a short while ago. He was convicted of horrible crimes, which makes it easier for folks, acting by proxy, to justify and applaud their own premeditated taking of another human life.  Here in the 21st century we still revel in medieval solutions.  But as someone wiser than me once opined, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

I've just read a great book, Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand (who also authored Seabiscuit) which is an autobiography of sorts of a remarkable guy, Louis Zamperini, and which is aptly subtitled "A World War II story of survival, resilience, and redemption."  Young Zamperini reminds me of myself as a youth, impetuous, hard-headed and defiant to a fault.  Like him as a kid I was my own worst enemy.  In our respective youths we trod many of the same paths.  Fortunately for him, unlike me, Zamperini found the strength of character to change the course of his downward spiral before it became too late.  I like Laura's dedication page which simply states, "For the wounded and the lost."  I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a great tale of redemption, made better by the knowledge that it is a true story.


Before I close I'll recommend three recent articles about our criminal justice system/prison system which should give pause to any thinking person. The first is a brief one-page overview which sort of sets the table, Incarceration Nation, by Fareed Zakaria, in the April 2, 2012 Time Magazine. (http://www.timemagazine.com/incarcerationnation). The other two, which are more in-depth, are Injustice System, by Conrad Black, in National Review online (www.nationalreview.com/blogs/print/294490) and Rethinking Solitary Confinement, by Erica Goode, in the March 11, 2012, New York Times. (http://www.newyorktimes.com/rethinkingsolitaryconfinement/ericagoode).  As someone who has spent his life behind bars I can verify that these articles speak the truth and are on point, and they speak to what we want to be and become as a nation.  They ought to be mandatory reading in law schools and criminal justice classes across America.  
  Light & Love,
      Bill

March 20, 2012

Dear Sis~
I believe you already know we have another execution coming up, this one scheduled for April 12, a guy named David Gore (whom I don't know) who has been on the row for 28 years now.  I'm told - but don't know for sure - that he's an ex-cop, and a serial killer.  This will be Gov. Scott's fourth execution in seven months which is an historically fast clip for Florida.  Traditionally, over the last few decades, Florida's execution rate averaged about 21/2 annually, but Scott has made it clear that he wants to kill a lot of guys.  At this pace he'll knock off six or more per year, a sobering statistic for someone like me who is in the crosshairs...
Our local PBS station broadcasts the oral arguments of the Florida Supreme Court and I catch them whenever I can.  We see all the arguments, civil and criminal, capital cases and otherwise.  It's interesting to see the dynamics of the court as it wrestles with different cases and issues, and interesting to watch the various lawyers in action, lawyers who range from brilliant (mostly the big civil cases where lots of money is at stake) to mediocre, to inept and incompetent (a lot of capital appellate attorneys fall into this category, particularly those from the "registry").  Ex-Supreme Court Justice Cantero made the same observation some years back, stating that "the worst lawyering the court has seen" came from the appointed capital appellate attorneys who appeared before them.  This is not all of them, of course.  There's a small handful who are exceptional. But far too many are mediocre at best and an alarming number are completely incompetent.  Unfortunately, when it comes to capital law, when the attorney screws up the client may well pay with his life.  Recently we watched an oral argument made by an attorney who I am very familiar with.  The prisoner lives on my floor and I know his case very well, having discussed it with him for over a year, and having read a lot of his record on appeal, and all of his appellate briefs.  But when it came time for the oral argument this lawyer became a bumbling dunce.  He was totally unprepared and demonstrated no familiarity with the issues being raised in the brief, which he supposedly authored.  He repeatedly conceded legal and factual points he never should have conceded and which were contrary to his positions taken in the briefs.  His hands were visibly shaking and he often appeared lost.  It was embarrassing to watch this inept performance and very discouraging considering the consequences.  I've seen this particular attorney perform numerous times (he regularly represents capital prisoners) and he's constantly below par; he was at his worst this last time and I could hear his client (who lives just two cells away from me) groaning and muttering with each incompetent statement ...
That's it for now, Sis.  I'll write again next week!
Love, 
Bill

Death Row Diary: February 15, 2012

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2012/01/30/120130crat_atlarge_gopnik?currentPage=all

February 15, 2012

Dear Sis~

Robert Waterhouse was scheduled for execution at 6:00pm this evening.  In accordance with the established execution protocol he was strapped to the gurney and the needles were inserted into each arm about 45 minutes prior to his appointed time.  Just before 6:00, however, he received a 45-minute stay which morphed into an almost 3-hour endurance test as he remained on the gurney as the seconds, minutes and then hours slid by at an excruciatingly slow pace,  waiting for someone to tell him if hope was at hand, if he would live or die. Just before 9:00 he received his answer, the plungers were depressed, the syringes emptied and he was summarily killed.  Here on the row we can discern the approximate time of death when we see the old white Cadillac hearse trundle in through the back sally port gate to pick up the body, the same familiar 1960's era hearse I've watched for almost 40 years, coming in to retrieve the bodies of murdered prisoners, which used to happen on a regular basis back when I was in open population.  I've seen a lot of guys, both friends and foes, carted off in that old hearse. Anyway, pause for a moment to imagine being on that gurney for over three hours, the needles in your arms.  You've already come to terms with your imminent death, you are reconciled with the reality that this is it, this is how you will die, that there will be no reprieve.  Then, at the last moment, a cruel trick, you're given that slim hope, which you instinctively grasp.  Some court, somewhere, has given you a temporary stay.  You stare at the ceiling while the clock on the wall ticks away.  You are totally alone, not a friendly soul in sight, surrounded by grim-faced men who are determined to kill you.  Your heart pounds, your body feels electrified and every second seems like an eternity as a Kaleidoscope of wild thoughts crash around franticly in your compressed mind. After 3 hours you are drained, exhausted, terrorized, and then the phone on the wall rings and you're told it's time to die.  To me this is cruel and unusual punishment by any definition.  Consider this:  Florida, like every other death penalty state, uses a list of statutory aggravators which the jury and judge use and weigh in determining whether to impose a death sentence.  As an example, some of the aggravators are, the victim was young; the victim was elderly; the victim was a law enforcement officer; the homicide occurred during the course of a felony, etc... Well, the Florida Supreme Court has repeatedly held that the two (2) most serious aggravators in Florida's capital sentencing scheme are: 1) Heinous, Atrocious and cruel (HAC); and 2) Cold, Calculated and Premeditated (CCP).  The Court has, in a slew of cases, held that the HAC applies when a victim is held captive and conscious and knows he is about to die; forcing a victim to consider his imminent death while he is helpless to escape it constitutes HAC.  Likewise, CCP applies when there is "heightened premeditation", over and above "regular" premeditation, and when the killing is the result of a well thought out plan.  By that definition HAC and CCP apply to all executions where we spend years reflecting on our imminent death and the killing is done with heightened premeditation, part of a well thought out plan or scheme...Just a little something to consider...
You know, from time to time, I write about America becoming a "prison nation", and about the prison industrial complex here; some readers may doubt what I say given my status as a prisoner (sour grapes and all).  Anyone interested should read an excellent article by Adam Gopnik titled The Caging of America, in the January 30, 2012 issue of The New Yorker. It should be mandatory reading in all law schools and all Criminal Justice classes in colleges across the nation... 
That's it for now!
Love, 
Bill

Feb 9, 2012

Dear Sis~

Yesterday the prison was locked down all day for the standard "mock execution", the practice run which occurs a week prior to the actual premeditated killing.  For the mock execution they lock down the joint, bring in an array of big wigs, and go through a dry run to make sure the death machine is in working order, everyone on their toes.  The big wigs are just voyeurs, here to vicariously kill someone while allowing themselves the bare moral cover of not actually pushing the knife between the ribs.  Their minions do the actual dirty deed while they can go home with technically clean hands.  These mock executions are as depressing as the real thing, in the sense that it's dispiriting to watch an entire organization (a prison, with all its constituent parts) so seriously dedicate their time and energies to practice killing a fellow human being, as if this is a good and natural thing to do.  It takes some peculiar mental (not to mention moral) gymnastics to justify this to oneself, but we humans have proven ourselves immensely adept at self-delusion and hypocrisy, especially when we bring religion into the equation.   We are really, really good at killing others in the name of God.  We are a strange species, aren't we?  To those who argue that the death penalty isn't killing (or murder, which is merely a legal definition) because it is all done "according to the law", I'd remind them that the Nazis did everything they did "according to the law".  The Nazis, for all their terrible deeds, were sticklers for following the law; they found their refuge in the law, meticulously following the letter of the law before they enslaved and/or executed their victims.  "We were just following the law" is a lame excuse when you are the one writing the laws in the first instance...

Godspeed to Gabby Gifford who is retiring after her term expires.  I hope one day she'll resume her life of public service 'cuz this nation needs a lot more like her.

Gotta go, Sis, I've got work to do.  Be good and keep smiling! 

Light & Love,

Bill

Jan 22, 2012

Dear Sis~

We had a bad stabbing last week over on one of the other (non-death row) wings.  A young white guy named Milkshake, who is rather slow and weighs barely 130 pounds, stabbed another guy who was trapped in the high-security, single-man phone booth sized shower, stabbing him repeatedly through the bars with a  foot-long shank.  This was the third or fourth time Milkshake has stuck someone; it doesn't take a lot to get him motivated.  This entire 1,300 man maximum security prison is a locked down joint.  Everyone is in their cells 24/7 (except the runarounds who are out of their cells a little more than others).  There is no open population here, so theoretically there should be very few acts of violence.  This place is a lot better than it was in the 70's and 80's when it was a serious killing grounds.  Still, we had a recent murder here, and this stabbing was only the most recent in a string of them.  But, there will be no repercussions to any staff, nobody will lose their jobs or be disciplined in any manner even though these stabbings and murders cannot occur without serious breaches of security.  Like most prisons and prison systems, the staff at the top (warden, assistant warden, etc.) views their top priority as protecting themselves and their staff.  There is no real accountability, no serious oversight ('cuz nobody really cares what goes on in prisons).  Prisons are uniformly inept, corrupt, incompetent and hidebound.  If there was any accountability the warden here would have been fired long ago.  He's the worse warden I've ever encountered in my 40+ years in the prison system.  But he's very safe here, ensconced in this parallel universe, this bastion of incompetence, and in fact will surely be promoted in due time.  That's the way it happens in the Florida Dept of Corrections; the bad apples get promoted while the good ones are forced out...

Well, the Miami Dolphins finally hired a new Head Couch, a guy named Joe Philbin, who was the well-respected offensive coordinator for the Green Bay Packers.  In his first statement Philbin promised that the Dolphins will now be implementing a fast-paced, uptempo aggressive offense, which is exactly what I've been hoping for.  Ever since Dan Marion retired the Dolphins have been saddled with mediocre quarterbacks and conservative coaches who employed safe, plodding run-oriented offenses, coaches who play not to lose rather than playing to win.  Maybe now we've it a home run by hiring Philbin...

That's it for now, Sis.  I'll write you again later in the week.  Meanwhile, keep your chin up and your thoughts positive!

Love, Bill

To the Readers

Dear Readers:
Bill's books, Quietus and The Third Pillar of Wisdom are e-books on Amazon and have been reduced in price to 99 cents each!  Bill thanks all his readers for their support throughout the years and hopes you enjoy his books as well.  Thanks!

To the Readers

January 4, 2012 The New Year

Dear Sis~

Well, another year is upon us.  I feel like I ought to have something profound to say but all I can think of is the too many - over 40 - years I've spent sitting in a cell or prison dormitory watching another new year slide into my life.  New Year's is supposed to represent hope and potential but it's hard to convince yourself that hope and potential abounds when you're doing hard time!  Anyway, 2012 is the supposed end of the world according to the Mayan calendar (or at least the last year of that calendar; perhaps the poor soul writing out that calendar so many years in advance just got tired and quit when he reached 2012).  I don't put too much stock in apocalyptic predictions; humans have been making them since the dawn of time, after all, without any success, and I'm an optimist by nature.  But I confess that as I survey the world around me and what we humans are doing to planet earth it is increasingly difficult to envision a good ending.  There are many good, wise and caring people dedicated to doing right by our planet but they are vastly outnumbered by those who are greedy, desperate and/or just ignorant who are determined to exploit all resources until the last fish, mammal and mineral becomes a mere memory.  Maybe the Mayans were on to something after all...
The search team came and tore up my cell last week; it was a surgical strike (they came for me alone) and I was later told that "someone" wrote a snitch kite on me claiming (falsely) I had a weapon in my cell. I'm fairly certain it was someone trying to get a DR (disciplinary report) dismissed by dropping a dime on me on the hope they'd shake me down and find something, any kind of contraband, and the rat would then get credit for it.  But I had no contraband so the snitch struck out.  If the administration had any integrity they'd write the rat a DR for "lying to staff."  I spent several hours putting my cell back in order; it looked like a hurricane came through, all my property scattered everywhere.  This is the kind of bullshit you have to put up with in prison; it's the nature of the beast.  Hell, it happens on the streets, too, though.  Informants are master manipulators and the police routinely play their game even though they know the rats often fabricate stories and evidence to their own ends...
I just learned that Governor Scott has signed another death warrant and someone is on death watch on the bottom floor of Q-wing.  Scott didn't waste any time after the holidays; he seems determined to execute a record number of people at the pace he is setting.  I don't know whose warrant got signed, so I don't know if it's someone I know.  All I know is that he came from UCI, across the river, where most of the 390 death row prisoners are housed (only 60 of us are kept here at FSP).  This is a depressing turn of events, a lousy way to begin the new year, at least from my perspective.  The execution, when it occurs, will undoubtedly please some people, so it's all a matter of perspective...
With that  morbid news I'll close this up and mail it off.  Keep your chin up, Sis, and keep smiling!
Light & Love,
Bill 


Note:  The prisoner on death watch is Robert Waterhouse and his execution is set for Feb 15th...