Thursday, January 08, 2009

January 1, 2009

Dear Sis~
Here it i s, the first day of the new year, a time of hope an renewal. On Death Row, it's easy to be thankful for another year, another shot at life, another chance to believe that Fate will intervene and allow us to deflect the full brunt of Destiny's arrows (or Karma's impassive reproach). On this matter, I can only speak for myself, but once the years have stretched into decades and the past has become just a blur, a smudge of snapshot memories of an endless series of cells, fences, bars and solitary nights, you tend to equivocate, sometimes wishing it would simply end so you can move on to the next plane, the next incarnation, where you can apply the hard-learned lessons burned into your spirit from this earthly journey. Other times, though, you value each day as an opportunity for growth, another chance to burn off Karma and assure yourself that the next time around you won't have to learn those lessons again, that next time, you will fulfill your potential and become the person you wish you had - a positive, uplifting, caring person who will make a difference in other peoples' lives. That's how I deal with the inevitable malaise that hits you when you live for years in a cage; I remind myself that life is not supposed to be soft or easy, life is supposed to be hard, for it's in adversity that we learn, grow and evolve. Every day I live in adverse conditions and overcome, is another day of growth, and each lesson I learn here is a lesson I won't have to learn the next time around. When you view life int hat context, when you truly believe that in your heart, it makes life not just bearable, but actually enjoyable, even in a death row cell. So, I welcome another new year and whatever it may bring, from life to death and all the various degrees and permutations in between...
Meanwhile, I'm sitting here on my bunk, listening to NPR (National Public Radio) on my little pocket radio. They're playing some old classic riffs and, in particular, some Grateful Dead tunes from 1969, which really conjure up pleasant memories, carrying me back to a time when I still had a pocketful of dreams and I had not yet irreversibly turned down the left hand path. Probably the most common fantasy indulged in by humans is to wish we could go back in time to whenever we perceive to be that golden moment of youth, yet to retain the knowledge and wisdom we now possess. Which reminds me of an old adage..."Youth is wasted on the Young."
Alright, Sis, I'll let you go for now. Give the doggies a New Year's hug for me!
Leave & Peace!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're an inspiration to me. And I'm sure others that read this blog. Thank you for not giving up. And please don't. It would break more hearts than you could imagine. Almost every time I turn on my computer, I click on my favorites bar to come to your diary. Hoping you got something for me.
Keep on, keepin' on.. (as they say)